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When To Get Engaged?


jjt
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hi,

 

so all this talk about rings and diamonds--but i wonder what people think about getting engaged at all. my bf and i have been together for almost a year, and we just passed the 1 yr anniversary of when we met. it was at an event, and i kinda thought for a few months leading up to it that he might propose there, but he didn't. we're a little older (mid 30s) and i'm thinking that waiting forever is just silly. what do you guys think? how long minimum should a couple be together before getting engaged and when do you think is together too long to not be cool anymore to not have popped the question?

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Yep. We dated for about a year 1984-1985, broke up for 3, then got back together in 1988 and married in 2008 (after two kids and two houses together). Still going... for the moment ;)

 

As partial exculpation for my (our?) tardiness, she did get a fair few pieces of jewellery before we decided to get married.

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Hi jjt!

 

Welcome :)

 

IMHO, best way is play "Truth or Dare" but just be ready on how you will fire your question. ;)

 

My friend encountered this dilemma, I remember her posting a silly question on yahoo answers..

And she also got some useful tips from ehow...hahahaha.

But then after two years of dating they decided to get married.

 

 

@Davide.. wow, it's true LOVE:wub:

Don't forget to give her flowers...

 

Cheers!

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  • 6 months later...

I honestly think whenever you both feel like you are ready to make the commitment is the right time. Very often women are ready before men and even more so now when women are,"wearing the pants" in families. All the women I know are the breadwinners for their families, especially in the medical field where I work. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost nine years, I am 29, so essentially our entire adult lives. I wasn't ready to get married until very recently when I finished college and he waited, poor guy,lol. We are very much in love. We talk about getting married and having a family everyday. We are having my ring made together but I still expect that same old fashioned treatment, down on one knee. Enough about me.

 

Don't cut yourself short when it comes to true love. Love is love. You may need to kindly remind him of how happy and proud it will make you to be his wife. What worked with me is how important he felt it was to our future together. Keep your chin up and we will be waiting for the day you post your fancy new engagement ring!

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  • 9 months later...

I have to agree, there is no rush to jump into a deeper partnership if you are enjoying each others company right within its midst.

 

My partner and I are together for almost 5 years already and I don't think that there is anything close to a proposal coming on. Though I am not saying that it is not a possibility.

 

Again, you should be right with what you are now if you are happy with it. No need to complicate things if things are working well.

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  • 2 years later...

When to get married is a tough one... It is up to you both when that happens. There is no set amount of time to date. It will happen when it's right. My step brother only knew his new wife for 6 months before they got married. My husband and I knew each other for 2 years and dated for one of those years before we got married. I was in my mid 30's when we got married. We now have two little girls together.

 

Follow your hearts. The rest will fall into place. Getting married is only a piece of paper (for the most part). It is how you feel about each other and what is in your hearts that truly matters. 

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  • 1 year later...

It all depends but the main reason for ppl to get married should be if you want kids or not. If you aren't all uppity about kids then why get married at all? Marriage means you are now ready to start a family. Family means kids. If you don't want them, don't get married. Enjoy calling each other BF and GF :)

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Uhm. I beg to disagree. You can perfectly well have children without being formally married. What children need is stability, and it's an interesting question (which incidentally is influenced by heavy cultural/national biases) whether that happens "more" in a formal marriage or not.

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you do all realize this conversation was started in 2010 and revived in 2014 and re-revived today.  At what point can we post a DNR on old threads?

 

That said it is an interesting philosophical discussion with both cultural and religious influences.  Not exactly jewelery or diamond related.

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Yes, I do realise that. In fact, I almost wanted to post that, but if you look at the history of the thread, after the initial "September 2010" discussion there were posts in 2011, 2012 and 2014, so it was kind of a "Lazarus Long" thread. And the forum is in the "beyond the bling" section, after all.

 

This said, I'd be happy to comply with (and help maintain) a "DNR" policy...

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hi,

 

so all this talk about rings and diamonds--but i wonder what people think about getting engaged at all. my bf and i have been together for almost a year, and we just passed the 1 yr anniversary of when we met. it was at an event, and i kinda thought for a few months leading up to it that he might propose there, but he didn't. we're a little older (mid 30s) and i'm thinking that waiting forever is just silly. what do you guys think? how long minimum should a couple be together before getting engaged and when do you think is together too long to not be cool anymore to not have popped the question?

 Well it all depends. I have been married twice and each time I was with the first guy for a year before we got engaged. We were married  months later. And my current husband and I got engaged after 9 months and married 4 months later.  It just depends on you and your SO. Try talking to him about things. Let him know where your head is at. He might think it is too soon or worried you might think it is too soon. 

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you do all realize this conversation was started in 2010 and revived in 2014 and re-revived today.  At what point can we post a DNR on old threads?

 

That said it is an interesting philosophical discussion with both cultural and religious influences.  Not exactly jewelery or diamond related.

Marriage was created to sell diamonds to women ;) - There! Now it's definitely related to this forum :)

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