12 replies to this topic

[jivasakti1]

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I gave my girl a engagement ring and she cried when i gave it to her and hugged and kissed me in such a special way. She told me after 3 months that the diamond was to small and it made her finger look fat, she wants to get a bigger diamond in the ring. Is this a normal accurance I felt very dissapointed when this happened and i want to make sure I am not overeacting.

[ben]

I think it depends on how she said it.

Do you think she's appreciative of the diamond? Overall, do you feel she's happy with her marriage/engagement?

The small diamond may very well make her finger look fat, and if she's very fashion-conscious, then she may be attempting to correct a situation and simply being truthful to you. How does she normally resolve issues? Is she confrontational? On the other hand, her complaint may be the symptom of some deeper feelings or issues that go way beyond the diamond.

[newguy222]

I must say that I would be a little offended if that same situation happened to me. Did she really ask for a bigger diamond?

[ben]

My initial reaction would be to take offense too, but I would give her the benefit of the doubt that she is simply being truthful. That's what marriage is about, after all -- openness, and sharing, even if it's embarrassing or uncomfortable.

If there are deeper issues in the relationship manifested by this and other symptoms, then I would reflect a bit more if this is really the right partner for life.

[MyTreasures]

I'm a girl. I don't care about the size of the rock or how much the ring costs. To me, it's the thought that counts. Don't get me wrong. Diamond is a very beautiful stone and a big one would be very impressive. I love my husband for him and not for his ring. The ring is just a symbol of our love. If my diamond fell off, I would still have my ring on my finger . hehehehhe. I wouldn't care what people say. I will always love him. By the way...a late congrats on your proposal =)

[purpleeagle]

The first ring I bought made her finger look fat too. I brought it up, not her. After I begged her to let me change the setting, we found the right ring. She gets so many more compliments. So, maybe its not the diamond so much as it is the setting. Either way, a ring can compliment a finger, or take it away. I changed the ring, and I am so much better off!

[J'taimeCartier]

Too bad she couldn't have said something BEFORE the 30 day return policy expired, eh? Did you buy from a large jewelry house, where they might take it back in exchange for a larger purchase?

A lot of couples come into my boutique to select possible engagement rings together. It's a romantic thing to do and they both learn something from the experience. I might offer you do that the next time.

[mike42]

That's tough, man. I hate to say it, but you really have to think about this. You know your fiance better than anyone. Before you get farther along in this relationship you should think about whether it's really an issue with this particular ring or if you're going to have to "trade up" on purchases for the rest of your life.

I don't mean that in an unkind way. I feel for you. Listen to what your head and your heart are telling you.

[Ian]

MyTreasures I aprreciate your comments. It is so true, even though a nice ring is nice it should not be about the ring at all.

[JohnBirdie]

jivasakti1, on Monday, Jul 11 2005, 09:51 AM, said:

[FONT=Geneva][SIZE=7]
I gave my girl a engagement ring and she cried when i gave it to her and hugged and kissed me in such a special way. She told me after 3 months that the diamond was to small and it made her finger look fat, she wants to get a bigger diamond in the ring. Is this a normal accurance I felt very dissapointed when this happened and i want to make sure I am not overeacting.

Hey bud,
Congratulations on the engagement by the way! Nothing to be disappointed about, I understand it happens. Out of curiosity what kind of engagement ring did you give her? Was it Platinum or Gold? What kind of diamond?
Hope everything goes well, don't worry much!

[shelby]

Oh dear! I don’t think you should be disappointed, rather you should be happy that she finally said what she felt like. What is a worth of a relationship if one of two has to think twice about something he or she felt for each other. You should be happy that she is comfortable to say what she feels. And you also should feel proud on your relationship that has no hide n seek.

This only reflects that the time has come in to your relation where things (even a diamond) don’t matter at all and your love has finally crossed all those boundaries. It’s a good sign, Cheer up!

[gemgalga]

could be that she's comparing it to her girl friends' rings and feeling insecure. maybe their situations are different and their guys had more money to throw at a ring (or put themselves into debt for). you didn't mention how big the diamond in the ring you gave her to start with is--if it is on the smaller side, it might be a legit concern. if it's a reasonable size, then it could just boil down to some vanity on her part. but really, a ring is just a token, as long as everything else is good, i wouldn't sweat things too much. do what you can if you are so inclined to honor her request.

[theheartbandits]

I understand why you would feel bad, but honestly, don't take it personal. I am a Marriage Proposal Planner and I help guys with this all the time. A lot of guys don't get the ring the girl expected but that is just because it wasn't communicated properly. In all fairness, the girl does have to wear the ring for the rest of her life, she really should love it. Try not to be too upset